Sometimes truth is found in unexpected places. Michael and I recently watched Castle, and in one episode the police chief was celebrating his 30th wedding anniversary. Half-jokingly, they asked him what his secret is.

He replied: “There is no secret. You just keep showing up.”

This may be one of the best bits of marriage advice I’ve ever seen. Of course life is more nuanced than that. Someone may be tempted, for instance, to claim I’m saying that if your husband is beating you, just keep showing up for that everything will be peachy. Obviously that’s not true.

[Tweet “Just keep showing up.”]

But at its most basic, the foundation of a long-lasting marriage is a commitment to just keep showing up for each other, day after day. Even when it’s hard. Even when you don’t feel like it. Even on the days when it seems like your spouse forgot to show up for you.

And ultimately, the same advice is foundational for parenting, too. There’s a lot of talk about consistency, but humans are imperfect. We can’t possibly be totally consistent (although aiming for consistency is wise). What our kids will most remember is that we just kept showing up for them, even on the hard days.

Never underestimate the power of showing up.