My mom talks about Durenda Wilson fairly regularly (they know each other), but I haven’t read any of her (Durenda’s) books before. I’m sure they’re excellent; it’s just that what she’s written about prior to now — at least that I’m aware of — is low-key homeschooling, and homeschooling is an area where I already feel pretty comfortable. Since I have a TBR (to-be-read) list about a mile long already, they just haven’t been at the top of the priority list, if you know what I mean.

Then I heard that this book was coming out: Raising Boys to Men: A Simple, Mercifully Short Book on Raising & Homeschooling Boys. Now this is a higher priority for me.

See, I grew up with two solid Christian parents — in a household of all girls. And my husband grew up with three boys — and an unsaved father. So between the two of us we can try to cobble things together but we’re each missing important pieces of the puzzle when it comes to raising godly boys, specifically. I’m pretty comfortable with general parenting (not perfect, because nobody really ever “masters” parenting), but when it comes to boy-specific issues, there’s a gap around here. It doesn’t help that of our own five children, four of them are girls, too! So our poor son is in a sea of girls all the time.

About Raising Boys to Men

Y’all, this book is so good. It is, first of all, so, so biblical and gospel-centered. At risk of coming across as egotistical, much of what she writes sounds very much like what you’ll hear around here. Her overall worldview, the things she emphasizes, sometimes even the exact turns of phrase, are very similar to my own approach.

And while I don’t want to come across as saying, “it sounds like something I would say, so it’s good” (although obviously I say the things I say because I believe they’re true), what I’m hoping you’ll take away from this is that if you appreciate reading here, you will probably appreciate Durenda’s book, because you’ll find that what we each have to say complements and reinforces the other.

Except that she has a wealth of experience with boys that I’m lacking.

“Mercifully short” is not just a fancy catchphrase; the book really is a pretty quick read. With just eight chapters and at about 100 pages, fitting this in is doable. The main idea here is that God’s design for our boys is good, and that it’s good for us to honor that design, even when it’s hard for us or we don’t fully understand it.

She talks a lot about what that good design is, and about the struggles moms are likely to have with their boys because we’re wired differently and so don’t always “get it.” There are practical suggestions and examples for addressing these situations where our own default response might not be the best fit.

If you’ve been around for a while, you may know that I don’t fit the stereotype. In many ways, I think a lot like the guys, so I don’t struggle as much with some of the same things most moms do. (I stumble more readily over parenting my girls!) But even at that, it’s still an encouragement that what we see in our boys is good, even though it’s often immature and needing development and direction.

I also plan to make this required reading for the “big sisters” at our house, because it’s good for the girls to understand why their brother is the way he is, so they don’t undermine this. (It only goes so far for Mom and Dad to build a boy up if his older siblings are constantly tearing him down.)

My One Tiny Disappointment

There’s only one very small thing I didn’t care for in this book. I disagree with the prevailing notion in conservative Christian circles that “men especially need respect and women especially need love.” I believe this idea comes from an incorrect exegesis of Ephesians 5, and that we’ve let it sweep through and take over the church with very little examination because it seems to go along with the majority personalities of men and women. Durenda repeated this same idea in the book which I hate to see reinforced. But it’s a rather passing mention that doesn’t comprise a key message in the book.

Get the Book

If you have sons, it’s absolutely worth it to invest the relatively small amount of time it will take to read this book. You can grab it on Amazon. (And if you do read it and like it, please consider taking a few minutes to write a review. Reviews go a long way toward helping indie authors get their books seen by the readers who need them.)