It’s that time again: things my children should know about me.  This week it’s ten of my pet peeves, so here goes:

1. Blatant grammatical errors from people who should know better.

I mean, if your whole job is making signs, you should be able to put together ten words without making glaring errors.  If you can’t, you either need a new job or an editor.  (I understand that in lengthier pieces, typos easily sneak in and get overlooked.  I’ve seen it firsthand.  But when there’s only one line, one should be able to proofread that pretty effectively.)

2. Fingernails on a chalkboard…

…and similar grating/screeching sounds.  (Does that count as a pet peeve?  Or just something that gives me the heebie-jeebies?)

3. My children asking me the same question over and over…

…without leaving enough time in between for me to take a breath to answer the question.

4. Inner and storm doors that open two different directions.

I’m constantly getting closed in the door trying to fight my way out with a baby on one hip and the other arm loaded down, because doors like this do not work unless you have both hands free to hold one open while you close the other behind you.  (I rarely have one hand free, much less two.)

5. School buses

They’re terrible for traffic.  And it’s really annoying when you get stuck behind one for a while on its route.

6. Telemarketers

Especially when they don’t even take a breath so you can tell them you’re not interested.  Or when you do tell them you’re not interested and they act as though you never said so at all.  I mean, we pay for this line.  And not so you can waste our time.  I’m not getting paid to listen to a spiel!

7. Pop-up ads

Especially if your page has multiple pop-ups on the same page.  Can I please read what I came to read?

8. People who only pull halfway into the turn lane before slowing almost to a stop.

(You know, so half of their vehicles are still in the travel lane.)  Then I have to slow down behind them anyway, as though they hadn’t gotten into the turn lane at all, and that’s what the turn lane is for in the first place!

9. Paying $8+ to ship something UPS because that’s the cheapest shipping option…

…when it’s the approximate size and weight of a small paperback book.

10. Buying something the size of a fountain pen and having it show up in a box large enough to house a microwave oven.

I know, not everyone is going to stock every size of box there is.  Sometimes there will be a bit of extra space in a package.  But c’mon, can’t you get it closer than that?

And because now I’m on a roll, a bonus #11:

Stores that Put Labels…

…over the description of a movie -OR- put permanent labels on the covers of books.