It’s time for another installment of “30 Things My Kids Should Know About Me“:  When did you know your spouse was “the one”?

I came to suspect that Michael was “the one” gradually, but knew it all at once.  (He knew all at once, too!)  In fact, that moment is a significant memory in our shared history.

The Background

Michael and I met at a young adult Bible study he led at his church.  We got to know each other through numerous discussions – both as an entire group and in smaller sub-groups or just the two of us.  (We spent lots of time on instant messaging!)  Although each of us knew all along that the other was “marriage material,” we never really considered each other for ourselves because our backgrounds were so different that we different views on some significant matters of theology.

Over time, however, we had gradually reconciled these differences (without realizing it).  I don’t remember what they all were.  I think it was 2-3 things.  But I do remember that they became non-issues in different ways.  One, for instance, was a semantic disagreement; we believed the same thing, we’d just been saying it two different ways.  In other areas, our discussions caused us to further investigate certain topics and question what we’d “always been taught” by our respective churches.  In the process, we each came to believe something a little different than what our church had taught, which resulted in a “meeting in the middle.”

This was not conscious or intentional!  We never sought to reconcile these differences; we just accepted them as a matter of course.  And we talked and studied and sought to be “iron sharpening iron.”  That it did results in the dissolving of these barriers was a “side effect.”

The Change

After many months, I came to realize that I didn’t want to be without Michael.  (That’s another story for another day.)  As I mused over the situation, I realized that those differences were no longer differences.  But I decided to pray about the situation – and have a friend pray about the situation with me – rather than saying anything to Michael.

Finally, on January 1, 2000, we had yet another IM conversation.  At some point during that discussion, Michael asked what those issues were that we disagreed on.  I answered.  His response?  “Uh oh.  There goes the safety net.” At that moment, we both knew.

My parents had still never even met him, so we had a ways to go after that, but we knew what the end result would be.