Our nation has definitely seen the death — or at least the near-death — of common sense, of late. We’ve also seen the death of self-control. This is evident in a wide variety of areas.
Sexual “freedom” abounds. Those of us who believe homosexual activity to be a sin are called “homophobes.” Fornication and adultery are perceived as normal. So normal, we generally don’t bat an eyelash. The pornography industry is growing by leaps and bounds. Even the vows taken to seal what should be the marriage covenant are viewed as more of a “suggestion.” Those who have promised “’til death do us part” decide it’s just too hard and not worth the effort, give up, and move on.
This is apparent in less “serious” areas, as well, though. Take food, for instance. Americans are fat. The diet industry is booming, and still, we’re fat. The best diet supplements in the world cannot make up for eating junk, and lots of it. (I do recognize that there are some people who are overweight because of medical issues, just as there are a few people out there who divorced their spouses because of serious issues like abuse. But we’re talking about trends here, and the trends are caused by the “norms” of people who are “lazy at love,” or eat too much, and not the exceptions who have done their best and don’t know what else to do.)
The Lord told us that the one who is faithful with little will be given much, and it would behoove us to practice our self-control in the little things, so that we don’t have abused children and marriages falling apart, because when the big things come up, the proper response is less unnatural. (I’m talking to myself here, too. Self-control is hard, and I definitely don’t have it right!) Let’s see if we can’t raise the next generation to believe in personal responsibility, like previous generations and unlike most of ours.
Yes! Layers are the key. I am no style expert. I’m a bit clumsy with fashion (I feel you. I can’t pick out shoes), but I have found three things that really pull my outfits together. Blazers, belts, and scarves. I will usually only have to add one and I instantly look pulled together. I use the belts at my waist, to cinch in a shirt or knit top, and the scarves at my neck (and sometimes as belts).
I shop almost exclusively at second-hand stores, so I can afford to “splurge” on a nice stash of these items ($1/scarf).
Why this post ended up under this entry is a mystery to me. Too funny!
Rachel, you are right on. I am a counselor and it surprises me how many children have ADHD. Before I was a counselor, I never thought that it existed. However, I see these children and they meet full criteria in the DSM-IV to be diagnosed with ADHD. They are impulsive, have poor focus, and hyperactive. Some of these poor children can’t pay attention more than 10 minutes to anything but a video game. Where I differ though is in the “fix”. Most parents that bring these children in want medication but what they really need is to learn some self-control. When I am working with children with ADHD and their parents, I teach the parents the importance of consistency, structure and discipline, something most of these families are lacking. With the children, I work on self-control techniques. I have really come to conceptualize ADHD and some other “mental health disorders” as pure lack of self-control. I really feel bad for the children as it is not their fault. Self-control is a skill that must be developed and it starts at home.
Shannon, I’ve been doing a lot of reading lately that suggests that (among other things) ADHD can also indicate a neurotransmitter imbalance. Correcting the imbalance can make it much easier to learn the discipline and self-control. (I’ve been reading about the neurotransmitters, etc. for a wide variety of reasons, not just for ADHD, but this is one of the things I’ve stumbled across.) Protein is a biggie, because all of the essential neurotransmitters are built from amino acids obtained from protein, and nowadays many of us are either not getting enough protein or, occasionally, not digesting it well. That makes for too little of things our brains need, and it can mess us up in all kinds of ways, with ADHD just being one of those ways.
I know that I struggle with ADD tendencies now, and I did as a young child, too – but I never did as a teenager or young adult, so there is clearly more than one factor at play, at least for me.
None of this is intended to contradict what you said – I totally agree with you! – but to add to it. 🙂
Hi Rachel. Yeah, there certainly seems to be a variety of variables as to the cause of ADHD. For many there seems to be too much screen time, there seems to be some research that artificial coloring has some impact, perhaps a biological link, and who knows how many more variables. But, despite the reason, the impact is the same. That is very interesting about the neurotransmitters. I will check that out. I love providing families with options that isn’t medication and can be helped by just eating a little healthier!
Lucky you 😉 You happened to land on my area of expertise (seriously). I’m currently earning a master’s degree in counseling from a Christian seminary, and ADHD is one of my pet topics.
ADHD has been studied more than almost any other “mental disorder”. I’ve done extensive reading in the source literature. It is apparently highly heritable; involves both chemical and structural (some structures in the ADD/ADHD brain are actually smaller than normal) brain anomalies; is most effectively treated with a holistic approach of medication, behavior modification/structure, and healthy living habits.
There is wide consensus in the literature that behavior modification is only somewhat helpful when medication is not included (drug companies are not simply pushing their products via the research. Stimulant meds are in generic form and are relatively cheap). Research also shows that, contrary to the popular belief that ADHD is overdiagnosed and overtreated, few people ever receive a proper diagnosis and few of those who are diagnosed actually receive optimal doses of medication. I know it’s hard to believe, but underdiagnosis and undertreatment are the real problem.
That being said, misdiagnosis is also a problem. There are a number of reasons that someone might exhibit flightiness, inattention, or disorganization. This could range from very high intelligence (boredom) to Post Traumatic Stress Disorder to lack of environmental structure. That’s why it’s important, before medication is prescribed, to get a thorough assessment done by a psychologist or psychiatrist who specializes in disorders of childhood (most school psychologists are not equipped to provide such an assessment, nor are they allowed to diagnose medical conditions). This would include IQ testing, family interview, learning disorder assessments, auditory and visual processing assessments, self-concept assessment, and comparing the child’s behavior in various settings, etc. The child should also be examined by a pediatrician to rule out hearing or vision problems or other impediments. This should be done before any medication is given. Getting a proper diagnosis is essential to getting proper treatment.
One dietary supplement that legitimate research has shown to be beneficial is the Omega fatty acids. Doctors and psychologists are beginning to recommend fish oil capsules. The food dye theory has been largely debunked but its popularity continues. I suspect that eliminating the dyes can be helpful because parents become highly motivated to read labels, cut out processed treats, and so become more conscious about what they are feeding their families. Neither of these interventions are likely to cause harm and can be started by anyone.
I’m so glad you chose to share all that. I certainly wouldn’t call it an area of “expertise” for me, but it is an area of avid interest (along with related and semi-related things). I have recently very much enjoyed reading books by Dr. Daniel Amen and by Julia Ross, which (especially if the two authors’ works are taken together) suggest a significant potential for specific amino acid supplements to be beneficial. Dr. Amen also identifies several different sub-types of ADD (that is, different dysfunctions in the brain), which require different treatments. That is, apparently, why some people do terribly on stimulants – their underlying dysfunctions are not the same as those who thrive on stimulants.
I find all of this immensely fascinating. (And my poor husband finds it immensely boring. lol)
Russell Barkley is another author you might enjoy. See if you can get your hands on his book ADHD and the Nature of Self Control. There is a video that goes along with it, A New Look at ADHD: Inhibition, Time, and Self-Control. His work has shed the most light on my own challenges, especially related to time management and organization.
Thanks! I’ve added that to my book list.
My first real inkling that this might be my difficulty was actually an organization book. lol It’s called…ADD-Friendly Ways to Organize Your Life. My mom got just because she figured it would have “out-of-the-box” organizational ideas, but as I read it, I realized every one of the ADD traits they mentioned described me to a “T.” That’s when I remembered that I was in trouble all the time in elementary school for things like talking in class. (I actually spent months at a desk by myself in front of the principal’s office!) But it never really occurred to me until after I was married and trying to run a house, because in my teen and early young-adult years, I didn’t have any issues. (I’m also a really good student, so my grades never reflected any difficulty. Apparently more recent research has shown that this is not atypical for girls, who often get depressive with ADD, rather than hyperactive.) Just knowing how my mind processes things is a huge help! (It is also helpful for my husband to know that if I say I forgot to do something, I really did forget; I didn’t just get lazy or not care.)
ADD/ADHD and marriage do not mix well ;).
And, you’re right, the profile tends to be different in girls than in boys. I’ve never been hyperactive either (although I do have very high energy and enthusiasm for life–when I’m not crippled by depression :(, something I am not plagued by anymore, but was for many years), but I had a tremendous amount of trouble in school. I just couldn’t toe the line, despite the fact that I was very obedient in general. I just could not help day-dreaming, losing things, forgetting things, being late, and getting buried under piles of stuff.
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