The Many Ways to Be a Mom -- Happy Mothers Day!

I remember the year I was carrying my first child. Mothers Day arrived, along with a host of comments to the effect of, “Just think; next year you’ll be a mom!” I appreciated their well-wishes, but something inside me rebelled against those comments, because they were all wrong. I already was a mom.

On Mothers Day, we tend to remember those who are mothers in the most traditional sense: moms who are parenting the children they, themselves, gave birth to. And that’s a good thing! What isn’t such a good thing is that not-so-traditional mamas often get lost in the shuffle. So allow me to acknowledge and honor you today, mama — however you came by that title.

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Happy Mothers Day to the Traditional Mom

…of course. My mother and my husband’s mother both fall into this category, and we are thankful for your teaching and training, and for the time you invested in us. (And all the more so the longer I endure days of screaming and poopy diapers, and can better grasp the everyday reality of what you put up with for us, growing up!)

Happy Mothers Day to the Birth Mom

…who carried your baby close to your heart, then made the hard decision to give him up, because you loved him so much you wanted him to have something you couldn’t offer. You gave your child a precious gift — life — and then made one of the hardest sacrifices humanity will ever know. You’re not forgotten.

Happy Mothers Day to the Adoptive Mom

Maybe you took in that child who was loved beyond his biological parents’ means to provide for him. Or maybe you welcomed one who had been orphaned or abandoned. Either way, you accepted him as your own. You were God’s hands to “set the lonely in families,” and you offer us an opportunity to see in a tangible way what it means that He adopts us.

Happy Mothers Day to the Stepmom

…who tackles the difficult task of raising children who might not always have been accustomed to having you as a mother. Maybe you’re striving for the delicate balance of sharing your children with their biological mother. Maybe you’re wounded by the cry of, “You’re not my mom!” But your presence is shaping and stabilizing those young ones. Don’t lose heart.

Happy Mothers Day to the Foster Mom

…who may only get to love on your kids for a little while. Sometimes it makes for crazy days, and you might often feel like it doesn’t make a difference. But it only takes a little while to make an indelible mark on a child’s heart. Even if only for a little while, you get to provide stability and let someone know that he is loved.

Happy Mothers Day to the Expectant Mom

If this is your first, well-meaning people may tell you that “next Mothers Day” you’ll be a mom — but we know better. You’re a mom right now, sharing your very breath and probably (if you’re far enough along) feeling him move within you.

Happy Mothers Day to the Mom Who Lost a Child

It feels a little awkward writing “happy” in that context, but let us honor you and remember your child with you. Maybe you lost a baby before birth, or at birth. Maybe you made the decision to abort, and now you regret it. Maybe you had your child in your life for long enough to get to know him for a while before he was gone. Maybe you were in the process of adoption and after being matched, something fell through.

Sometimes it feels like the whole world has forgotten. Sometimes it may seem that no one else even notices your loss. But you’re not forgotten. And even if you only had that child for a very little while, you’re still a mom. You carried your child in your heart and he is precious to you; that is enough to count yourself as “mother.” I rejoice with you for the time you had, and I mourn your loss with you.

Happy Mothers Day to the “Honorary Mom”

…who isn’t “officially” a mother, but still fills that role for someone. Maybe you weren’t able to have children of your own, but even in your own hurt, you still reached out and loved on those around you. Or maybe you do have children of your own, and you welcomed others into the “flock.” Thank you for letting someone know he’s loved, and being someone to look up to.