Bonding with our babies can occur through many different activities, and take many different forms. Ultimately, it comes down to one thing: spending time with them. But I’ve broken it down to three specific, simple elements that I think have made a big difference in the lives of my own little ones. These are the primary ways I bond with my babies.

1. Love them!

This is, perhaps, so obvious that it seems almost silly to mention it. But it’s important! We have to love them, and we have to show it. With babies in large orphanages who struggle to survive, this is often what they’re missing. The wonderful thing is, it comes pretty naturally to most of us moms. I’m not a “nurturing” type at all – but I don’t have to work at loving my babies. And I don’t have to work at being willing to give them kisses, hugs, and cuddles.

(Incidentally, I suspect this is one reason God designed babies to feed at the breast – and one of the major benefits of breastfeeding. If you’re nursing 6+ times a day, that is 6+ built-in snuggle times! If you’re bottle-feeding, be sure to take this time to cuddle with baby, too, and not just prop the bottle. At least most of the time.)

2. Keep them close.

I don’t always do this as well as I’d like, because a chunk of our house is pretty much just walkway, with no room for safe play spaces. But I try. Keeping a baby close enables interaction even while you go about your business. A sling or wrap is an essential tool for us in this regard. It enables me to hold my baby and still have my hands free.

The Boba Wrap is especially comfy with our itty-bitties because it’s stretchy. There’s inherently a “hug” kind of effect when using it. (And it is soooo much lighter than the other stretchy wraps I tried!) It’s also a great “poppable” wrap for running errands, etc. (That means it’s quick and easy to “pop” baby in and out.)

Still, I find myself putting baby down more often than I’d like, because even five months into parenting my fourth child, I haven’t mastered a high back carry. Since I have short arms, it’s hard for me to reach around a baby to complete some of the tasks that taller moms can probably do just fine while carrying their babies tummy-to-tummy. When I do put him down, my little guy likes to lie beside me, where he can “talk” to me and I can talk to him.

3. Make use of small moments.

I don’t mean to downplay “chunks” of time spent with our children. Especially as they get older, these longer times have to be set aside for them here and there. But particularly when they’re tiny (and don’t have long attention spans!), small moments can be significant when you make use of them throughout the day, every day.

We’ve already mentioned feeding time. Right now, Caleb eats about 7-8 times a day (not counting middle-of-the-night feeds, when Mama is too exhausted to think about focused time!). Add in diaper changes, and that is already somewhere between 15 and 20 times a day that I am focused on him. If I am mindful of this time, to take advantage of interacting with him, he is getting time with me very frequently during the day.

Other “small moments” can be used, too. I like to carry him with me to check the mail, talking to him about the weather and pointing out one or two things in our immediate environment. Now that he’s getting a little bit older, something will typically grab his attention, so I’ll put words to it for him. “Do you see the tree? Look, the leaves are turning yellow. It’s pretty, isn’t it?”

These may not seem like much, but they inherently add variety to his day and provide opportunities to share “face time,” to build his vocabulary, and to encourage him to interact with the world around him.

(His sisters, being older, require more than just these short “snippets,” but they appreciate little moments, too – like riding to the dump with Daddy when he takes the trash. Just not exclusively brief moments.)

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This is a sponsored conversation written by me on behalf of Boba. The opinions and text are all mine.