There’s a new book out, called Bad Dad. It details the true story of a father who was arrested, charged with felony child abandonment because he told his 11-year-old son to walk home less than a mile through a small town during daylight hours as a result of obnoxious behavior. No interstate. Not ten miles. Not a 5-year-old. We’re talking a preteen. Kids walk that far to school all the time.
“But something could have happened to him.” Yeah. And something could have happened to him if he’d ridden with Dad. Drunk drivers run red lights.
“But he clearly wanted to get into the car. It’s emotional neglect.” Is it “felony abandonment” to leave your 5-year-old at kindergarten because she’s crying and clinging to you and doesn’t want to be left at school? (Kids have been shot at school, you know. Something could happen to her.)
Please understand that my point is not to suggest that it’s abandonment – or physically dangerous! – to send a kid to kindergarten. My point is that it is always true that “something” could happen. Life is inherently risky. As parents, we have to balance those risks to keep our children reasonably safe, while still allowing them to live, grow up, enjoy themselves, etc., and while taking the necessary measures to ensure that they grow into adults who can function well in society. The comment was made that when the dad was a kid, no one would have thought twice about the son’s being told to walk home. He’s right! And they were right! When he was a kid, most kids grew up to be courteous adults. In our day, a large percentage remain immature jerks. Why? Because we’re afraid to parent!
And why are we afraid to parent? Because suddenly everyone else thinks it’s their business how I raise my kids. (“It takes a village…”) Because suddenly the government thinks it’s their business to step in and “fix” our parenting – even if our children are not in imminent danger. And because our legal and child protective systems are set up so that if someone doesn’t like you, they can turn you in and run roughshod over your family.
Whether or not you would have told the boy to walk home is not the point. Whether or not you think that’s good parenting is not the point. The point is, it wasn’t unreasonably dangerous, so the father had the right to make the decision. Period. The government should never have gotten involved. We need to keep it that way, and we need to tell the government to keep its hands off of our families. Check out ParentalRights.org and support the Parental Rights Amendment (an amendment in the spirit of the first ten)!
Your absolutely right. I have lived this through social services with my adopted children. It is easy to be a sideline referee – but on the field things look much different. We can’t parent by any book, except the good book. Every parent & kid is different, as we all know, and there is no one-size-fits-all remedy for child rearing. You can’t learn it in a college psychology class either.
But, it certainly is not the role of any government. I pray that PRO is successful as our government is not satisfied with the millions they indoctrinate through the school system, they want every last child under their watchful eye.
The link took me to a web page on the Weiser Academy web site about “How to Store Bulk Food,” though when I typed http://www.parentalrights.org into my browser line my computer went to the intended web site. I appreciate the information at both links. I have a friend who was run roughshod over as you describe, solely because someone was angry with her about an unrelated issue.
Yikes; thank you so much for letting me know about the messed-up link! I will fix that ASAP. (And I hope your friend’s situation has been resolved!)
Fortunately, my friend’s situation was resolved with an excellent outcome for her. It occurred about three decades ago. She suffered intense aggravation while it was in progress, and it was stressful for her children as well. I’m glad that there is an organization advocating for parental rights now.