It is hard when we pray and pray, and feel we aren’t getting any results.  I’d like to look at a few issues related to times when “prayer doesn’t work.” There may be more; these three are simply what came to mind for me. And this is not meant to be a doctrinal thesis or something!  I’m sure you could delve in deeper.  I’d just like for us to think a little bit about our expectations and responses.

When God Doesn’t Answer

First of all, let’s get one thing out of the way.  There is a sentiment that says, “God always answers prayer.  Sometimes He says yes, sometimes He says no, and sometimes He says wait, but He always answers.”

But it’s not true.

Sometimes He doesn’t answer.  How can I be so sure?  Because we have ample evidence in the Bible of occasions when God didn’t answer.

1 Samuel 14:37 – “So Saul asked counsel of God, ‘Shall I go down after the Philistines? Will You deliver them into the hand of Israel?’ But He did not answer him that day.”

1 Samuel 28:6 – “And when Saul inquired of the Lord, the Lord did not answer him, either by dreams or by Urim or by the prophets.”

2 Samuel 22:42 (& Psalm 18:41) – “They looked, but there was none to save; even to the Lord, but He did not answer them.”

Often, the Bible simply says that the Lord didn’t/doesn’t hear.

1 Samuel 8:18 – “And you will cry out in that day because of your king whom you have chosen for yourselves, and the Lord will not hear you in that day.”

Psalm 22:2 – “O My God, I cry in the daytime, but You do not hear; and in the night season, and am not silent.”

Micah 3:4 – “Then they will cry to the Lord, but He will not hear them; He will even hide His face from them at that time, because they have been evil in their deeds.”

The basic idea is the same.  It’s not that God is unaware that they’re speaking.  He’s just choosing to ignore them.

I don’t know about you, but I don’t want God to ignore me!

My observation is that those praying these unanswered prayers fall into two categories, and their situations seem to be pretty different.

First, there are those who are in rebellion against God.  Either their overall lifestyle is one of rebellion and their prayers are merely self-serving.  Or their inquiring of God is token altogether.  To put it in overly simple terms, these folks have no right to be asking God for help, so He’s under no obligation to respond.  (Please note that we are not talking here about people who have been living in sin, but are calling upon God in repentance.  We’re talking about people who are currently living a rebellious life at the very time they’re calling on God to do something for them.)

It’s a little (just a little!) like a citizen of the U.S. calling up the embassy of some random country and wanting them to help with something.  They’d likely being thinking, “Why in the world should I help you?  What have I to do with you?!”

The second category is a bit trickier.  There do seem to be instances where God’s people have called on Him and He has “held His tongue” (metaphorically) for a time.  Perhaps it’s splitting hairs to say that he makes them wait for the answer in these instances, as opposed to answering them with “wait,” but I think it’s different.

I didn’t point out Job in the list of verses above, but he’s a good example of this.  Throughout much of Job (the book), we see Job (the man) crying out to God, and God not offering any reply.  But eventually, nearer the end of the book, God does answer.

The Psalmist complained of God’s lack of response, as well (see above), and I suspect his situation was similar.  (We don’t read here that God answered later, but it seems likely He did.)

In my opinion, the easiest way to understand these “second category” situations is thinking like a parent.  Why might I not answer my own child?  (When I’m being attentive, I mean.  Sometimes I don’t answer because I’m human and subject to error.  But there are times when I choose not to answer.)  I can think of three major reasons:

1. The child doesn’t need the answer.  “What are we having for dinner?” is a good example here.  My children ask this almost every night.  And I almost never tell them.  (I usually say, “food,” but I could as easily make a policy of not responding at all.)  They don’t need to know.  Dinner will be provided, and they will eat or not eat it, regardless of the information they get ahead of time.  And if I tell them ahead of time, they will likely just complain.  So I choose to not provide them with information they don’t need.
2. The child is merely ranting and raving — asking for answers, but not really wanting answers.  Letting off steam.  Can you picture a child going on and on, and a parent amusedly standing by, thinking, “Are you finished yet?”  Sometimes the individual question doesn’t matter as much as the act of asking them.
3. The child isn’t ready for the answer yet.  Perhaps the child does need the information he’s asking for, but not yet.  He might be overwhelmed by carrying around a lot of information he doesn’t need yet.

I can imagine God’s withholding an answer for any of these reasons: because we don’t need to know the answer (we just need to trust Him), because we’re merely venting (it’s more about the act of asking than the actual questions — more on this later), or because we’re not ready for the answer yet (in which case God will answer — later).

When We Don’t See the Results We’d Hoped For

Sometimes God does answer us, but the answer isn’t what we wanted to hear.  Consider Paul:

“Concerning this thing I pleaded with the Lord three times that it might depart from me. And He said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.’” (2 Cor. 12:8-9)

Paul clearly received a different answer than he’d hoped for!

Here are some things to consider when we receive answers other than what we wanted — whether that be “no,” “later,” or no answer at all:

Sometimes we ask for things that aren’t good for us (or useful to God’s plan overall).

When my children ask for candy, I often tell them no.  There’s no huge, insightful cause for this.  I just know that candy isn’t good for them, so I’m not willing to let them have it all the time.  Now, this particular example is simple enough that they understand when I tell them no.  But sometimes I tell them no to other things for similar reason, and the dangers are subtle enough that they might not readily grasp my reasoning.  That doesn’t mean I don’t have a reason.

God is a loving father, and sometimes He tells us no purely for our good.  And sometimes I suspect He tells us no because the thing we’re asking for is no good for His overall purposes.  Like when my children ask to go play with the neighbor kids and I say no because I know we have to leave for the store in fifteen minutes.  It might not be harmful for my girls to play with their friends, but I know it would interfere with my plan.

Sometimes we’re asking the wrong question.

Sometimes we do need an answer — but it’s not really the answer to the question we asked.  Sometimes something else is more important, really.  Or sometimes the real question is the deeper one we didn’t ask.  For example, if there’s been a big storm recently (like a tornado or hurricane), our kids might ask all kinds of detail questions about storms — but really just want to know if they’re going to be safe.  In this case they may not need answers to all of those detail questions they actually asked.  They just need reassurance.

We come to God with similar questions sometimes, I think.  We have all of these specific questions asking about all these details.  And instead of answering the questions we asked, He says, “It’s okay.  I have it all under control.”

Sometimes we have the wrong idea of “results.”

And finally, sometimes we just have an altogether wrong idea of what it means for prayer to “get results.”  Maybe it’s because God didn’t answer; maybe it’s because He didn’t give the answer we wanted, but we decide that means that our prayers don’t get results.  Maybe the problem isn’t with the “results”; maybe the problem is with our expectations.

God is not a vending machine.  Although He does provide our needs, and I believe He delights in blessing us, as any good father does, our focus in prayer should not be to “get things,” or to have every situation go the way we want.  Our primary goals when we pray should be to spend time with God, get to know Him better, and give our worries over to Him.  Some prayers may not need to receive answers to accomplish these things!

When we feel like our prayers aren’t getting results, it probably means we’re focused too much on the results and too little on God Himself.  (I’m talking to myself here, too!)

 

What expectations do you need to change today (if any)?