What makes a successful woman? The world says a successful woman is one who “has it all” – outside career, children (who are raised by the daycare center and school), material possessions. But what does  say makes a woman successful? Let’s look at 1 Timothy 5:9-10,14.

“Do not let a widow under sixty years old be taken into the number, and not unless she has been the wife of one man, well reported for good works: if she has brought up children, if she has lodged strangers, if she has washed the saints’ feet, if she has relieved the afflicted, if she has diligently followed every good work….Therefore I desire that the younger widows marry, bear children, manage the house, give no opportunity to the adversary to speak reproachfully.”

So a woman is successful if she lives to be sixty.

Just kidding. 🙂 The “sixty” here is a practicality; a woman under sixty was expected to still be able to marry again (v. 14). An older widow was only to be cared for by the church if she had fulfilled her God-given responsibilities up to that point. I believe we can say that, if she had filled the description given here of a godly woman, we can call her “successful.” So what is the description?

Describing Biblical Success

She had been the wife of one husband. I think it’s safe to assume, given the context, and the fact that younger widows were urged to remarry, that this is not referring to remarriage after widowhood. (In that case, she’s still only the wife of one man, because the deceased no longer “counts.”) A woman who is divorced and remarried is actually married to two men simultaneously.  (See Romans 7.)  So, a successful woman keeps her marriage covenant.

She had brought up children. There’s a strong implication here of actually doing the (bulk of the) nurturing and training of one’s children. It isn’t enough to just birth them and dump them on someone else. A successful woman raises her own children.

She had lodged strangers. A successful woman is hospitable.

She had washed the saints’ feet. A successful woman serves other Christians, often in menial, “trivial” ways. Note that this does not say anything about having any position of honor!

She had relieved the afflicted. What is “relieving the afflicted”? Perhaps caring for the sick, offering an encouraging word to the discouraged, bringing food to the hungry or a warm blanket to the cold. A successful woman meets what needs she can.

She had “diligently followed” all of these things. They are what she gave her attention to. She was not giving them a cursory pass so she could brush them off and move on to things she deemed “more important,” but was intentionally pursuing them.

What About the Younger Women?

What was expected of younger widows? The same things which were expected of young never-married women: the things which would start them on the path to that “success” described by the lives of the godly older women.

They were to marry. Granted, not everyone in the world will ever marry. It is, however, the norm. Most of us will marry. It is a biblical “goal” and desire for a young woman to pursue. Young women are never instructed to pursue any other life work.

They were to bear children. Literally, they were to be child-bearers. As with the comments in Titus 2, this is not simply something we are to do; it’s something we are to be; we are to be defined by it. Can a career-minded woman be defined by her position as a “child-bearer”?

They were to manage the house. Or “guide” or “rule.” The idea here is not that of ruling the family (that’s hubby’s responsibility and right), but that of ensuring that the household runs smoothly. Overseeing servants (in that day), delegating as needed, and working as needed.

They were to “give no opportunity to the adversary to speak reproachfully.” I believe this primarily refers to verses 12-13; it’s a warning against being idle, wandering about from house to house gossiping and being busybodies.

But other things can give the adversary opportunity to speak reproachfully, as well. Consider the admonition at the end of the Titus 2 passage: “that the Word of God may not be blasphemed.” We must give our whole hearts to doing what we are called to do, in order to glorify our Lord!

The world’s success leaves one empty. Let us pursue with zeal God’s standard of success which supplies fulfillment and joy! 🙂

Please note that this post is written with married women in mind. It is not at all intended to insinuate that a single woman cannot be successful or pleasing to God. (The Scripture passage, after all, is clearly addressing women who have been married.) I do believe, however, that even a single woman will be significantly more fulfilled by pursuing these “womanly” things rather than the role of a financial provider.