That sounds like a bold claim, I know.  But it might not be the claim you think it is.  Let me back up and lay some groundwork.

Expect Too Much and Too Little?

We, as people, have a tendency to adhere rigidly to a single application of a thing, at the expense of the heart behind it.  It’s just human nature, because it’s simpler to have a clear list of expectations we can easily check off.  As a result, when we’re looking at Scripture we often end up having simultaneously too high an expectation and too low an expectation.  Too high because we create an artificial “box” we expect everyone to stay in; too low because we think we can check off a certain minimum requirement and call it good.

Let’s use tithing as an example.  Tithing — that is, giving exactly 10% — is not a New Testament requirement.*  Rather, those of us in the Church are called to give generously, as we’ve purposed in our hearts.

Now, that frees us from the artificial “standard” of 10%.  There is no obligation to give 10%.  Giving, say, 8%, doesn’t make you a “bad Christian.”  But…it also places a higher standard on us.  We are to give “generously.”  Maybe “generously” for some people is more like 50%.  If so, giving 10% would be lazy Christianity.

Do you guys see what I’m saying?  When we place the emphasis on the externals, we miss the point.  We may technically hit the mark, or we may not, but either way, we miss the point.  The heart is what matters.  And if the heart is right, the externals may or may not “match” what someone else is doing.**

(Hopefully even if you disagree with the tithing example, you get the point of the illustration.)

So What Does that Have to Do with Homemaking?

Titus 2 teaches us that women are to be “home-workers.”  Note that it does not say that we are to do work at home but, rather, that we are to be home-workers.  It isn’t a thing we do; it’s something we are — something that defines us.

To my knowledge, first-century Greeks didn’t have the word “homemaker,” so I’m going to use a little license here and use that word, which I think will better communicate to 21st-century readers.  If being a home-worker — or home-maker — is something we are, rather than something we do, then, like the earlier tithing example, this is both a lower standard and a higher standard than what we tend to think of.

On the one hand, it frees us from cultural definitions of “homemaking.”  If being a homemaker isn’t what you do, then not staying home all day every day doesn’t inherently make you “not a homemaker.”  If you “don’t do windows,” that doesn’t make you “not a homemaker.”  Being a lousy cook doesn’t make you a “lousy homemaker.”  I could go on, but I think you get the idea.

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On the other hand, it creates a greater expectation than just doing all the “right” things.  Staying home all day doesn’t inherently make you a homemaker!

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Other passages in the Bible give us some clues regarding what is — and what is not — expected of women.

The Proverbs 31 woman (who, keep in mind, was an “ideal,” not an actual, living woman) was clearly a manager of her home.  She was the one who kept things operating smoothly within the household.  But she didn’t do everything herself!  She had servants.  I know some will argue that our appliances today are our “servants,” and there is some truth to that.  But a servant is anything or anyone that helps get the job done.  Delegating tasks to hired help (or children!) is still management (although it ought to be done responsibly if we want to say we’ve done it well).  She also engaged in commerce within the community.  This clearly did not reflect negatively on her husband, who was “known in the gates” — an Old Testament way of saying that he was well-respected in their city.

We can reasonably take away from this, I think, that doing business which does not negatively impact the home or family is not in opposition to the idea of being a home-maker.  We can also conclude that being a home-maker does not necessitate doing every task within the home yourself.

We learn in 1 Timothy that many of the “younger widows” had a propensity for gadding about town, gossiping and generally making frivolous and unproductive use of their time.  This was held up as a problem.  I believe we can reasonably take away from the Timothy passage that this (wasting time and engaging in damaging chatter) is in opposition to the idea of being a home-maker.

When we take all of the context into consideration, we can conclude that a home-maker “builds up her house.” (Proverbs 14:1).  She prioritizes her family and her home, and she makes sure that things run (fairly) smoothly.  She’s a diligent worker, not wasting time on foolishness or tearing others down.  (Note that foolishness does not inherently equal leisure.  As long as it’s not excessive, some rest and leisure can be a good, refreshing thing.  “Foolishness” goes beyond the idea of mere leisure.)

With all of these principles in mind, each woman’s application might look different, depending on her own personal strengths and weaknesses and her life situation.

I have a friend who provides a significant proportion of her household’s income because her husband is chronically ill and unable to work consistently in a career capacity.  (She’s probably reading this.  I hope you don’t mind my using you as illustration!)  This is not my situation.  It would be an improper application of wisdom for me, in my life situation, to jump to the conclusion that her application should be my application.

It would be just as foolish for me to jump to the conclusion that my application should be her application.  My friend does an exemplary job of overseeing a smoothly-running household, staying engaged in her church and community, and serving others — all while working full-time outside her home.  Far better than I do, truth be told, and I’m here 24/7.  Which is exactly the point.

Are You a Home-maker?

The downside of recognizing that principles are just that — principles — is that it requires effort on our part to make godly choices.  We might have to ask some hard questions.

• Am I truly acting on the decision I believe best glorifies God, based on the wisdom and worldview presented in Scripture?
• Or have I bought into the philosophy of this world, acting on the decision that I find most “fulfilling” for myself as an individual?
• Or have I concluded what glorifies God based on a faulty standard set by the world or, conversely, church tradition?
• Am I using the gifts God gave me, to function as the part He designed me to be within the Body?  Am I serving that function in my physical and spiritual families (home and church)?
• Or am I squashing that design because of someone else’s (not God’s) expectations?

The answers to questions like these are what determine whether we’re making the right decisions for ourselves and for our families.  And whatever our work situations, whether we pay tutors or maids or “mother’s helpers,” whether we delight in doing all the work of the home ourselves or we’re better at overseeing someone else to complete those tasks…whether or not we’re home-makers depends more on priorities and the overall building up of our households than the details of how that is accomplished.

So never mind the cultural idea of a “homemaker.”  Are you a home-maker?

*The 10% tithe, while an important spiritual discipline, filled another role in OT times.  Ancient Israel was a theocracy, so that tithe not only supported the “church” (the Temple and its work); it was also their equivalent of taxes.

**Please note that I am not implying that there is no absolute standard.  There are things the Bible just flat-out tells us are sin.  They’re sin for everybody, like it or not.  I’m talking here about areas where the Bible has given us principles and we try to make those principles result in identical application for everyone.