There is much confusion in the Church today about a woman’s responsibility. Most pastors either are confused themselves, or shy away from teaching God’s perspective on this subject. The Bible, however, is not shy about addressing it.

In the second chapter of Titus, Paul exhorts Titus to “speak the things which are proper for sound doctrine.” He then goes on to tell Titus what those things are. Sandwiched in the middle of the list, we find, “the older women…that they admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed.” There it is, ladies – our job description, all written out in a nice, neat list. Let’s take a closer look at the list.

“…to love their husbands.”

At a glance, this seems pretty obvious and simple. But is it? How many of us really love our husbands? To “love” someone is to do what is best for him, to put his needs above your own. Thinking over every area of your life, can you honestly say that you are consistently putting his needs above your own? I know I’m feeling some conviction!

“…to love their children.”

Again, are we putting their needs above our own? This may not be as obvious as it first appears. Are you withholding correction from your child? Why? Is it for his good, or because it’s more comfortable for you? (Hint: Read Proverbs 23:13-14; 13:24; 19:18.)

“…to be discreet.”

What is discreet? “Careful about what one says or does; prudent.” “Prudent,” in turn, means “Exercising sound judgment in practical matters. Cautious in conduct; sensible, not rash.” Gossip is indiscreet. Following every new fad or jumping on every passing bandwagon is indiscreet. Frittering away money is indiscreet. Our current culture sees “sensible” as an optional trait; God’s Word offers it as a clear instruction. Sensibility is a virtue we need to cultivate.

“Chaste.”

Chastity refers to more than simply refraining from unlawful relationships. It also refers to modesty. Modesty is refraining from attracting undue attention to oneself. It is, of course, true that Christian women should be respectably covered up (in not-too-tight garments). It is equally true, however, that Christian women should not dress ostentatiously. Our dress should be moderate, as well as decent.

“Homemakers.”

Here’s where the matter really gets hairy. However, it doesn’t get hairy because it’s unclear or complicated; it gets hairy because we are, by nature, rebellious, and we just plain don’t want to hear what we don’t like. But ladies, God’s Word is God’s Word, whether we like it or not. This word translated “homemakers” literally means “homekeeper” or “homeworker.” That’s it, plain and simple. It is also worth noting that this is not simply something we are to do (so we can check it off of our lists and move on to the next thing); it is something we are to be.

So, do you, as a woman, have to be a homemaker? Well, not unless you want to obey God. Let me ask you a few other questions. If you’re working full-time at an outside career, who is looking after the house? If your husband is doing it (or most of it), is it possible you’ve abandoned your own responsibility in an attempt to fulfill his? Are you putting his needs above your own? What about your children? Where are they?  Are you loving them? Are you able to be obedient to your own husband, or are you in a position of obeying someone else and potentially being put in an awkward spot?

(It’s worth noting that the inverse is also true.  Because this is something we are to be, rather than something we are to do, there may well be more than one way this can be accomplished.  Just ask yourself if “homeworker” is a word someone might reasonably use to describe you.)

“Good.”

In our modern English, this seems like an extremely vague injunction. It is, indeed, a rather all-encompassing term. Consider some of the following definitions from Webster’s dictionary: “producing favorable results; beneficial” “honorable, worthy” “morally sound or excellent” “virtuous” “kind” “benevolent” Do they describe you?

“…obedient to their own husbands.”

Churches often teach the unfortunate notion that submission is not necessarily obedience. This passage demonstrates otherwise. Here we are specifically instructed to obey our own husbands. (Submission, by the way, is not actually submission when we believe our husbands to be right. That is merely agreement.) There is a freedom in this, though. We don’t have to obey anyone else’s husbands!

Why is it important for us to pursue all of these things?

Obviously, in order to be obedient, but there’s more to it than that. “…that the word of God may not be blasphemed.” Ladies, if we refuse to be homemakers, we blaspheme the word of God! If we are selfish, or insensible, or immodest, we blaspheme the word of God! This passage begins by pointing out that these responsibilities of ours (and the teaching of them) are “proper for sound doctrine”; that implies that to live or teach otherwise is contrary to sound doctrine.

Consider 1 Timothy 1:9-10: “…knowing this: that the law is not made for a righteous person, but for the lawless and insubordinate, for the ungodly and for sinners, for the unholy and profane, for murderers of fathers and murderers of mothers, for manslayers, for fornicators, for sodomites, for kidnappers, for liars, for perjurers, and if there is any other thing that is contrary to sound doctrine.”

Living and/or teaching contrary to the instruction in Titus falls in the same category as murder, fornication, homosexual acts, kidnapping, lying, and perjury! It is lawlessness, insubordination, ungodliness, and sin, unholy and profane!

Ladies, let’s consider carefully our actions and our attitudes, and bring honor and glory, rather than shame, to God. “For just as you presented your members as slaves of uncleanness, and of lawlessness leading to more lawlessness, so now present your members as slaves of righteousness for holiness.” (Rom. 6:19b)