I have been trying to write about what God is teaching me each Friday – sort of a “Faith-Filled Friday.”  The last couple weeks I haven’t written anything on this topic, because I feel like things have been such a mess around here I didn’t have anything to say.  I’ve felt like every time I start to get back up, God just knocks my feet out from under me again.

But this week He has been showing me that I’m seeing things all wrong.  He isn’t tripping me; I’m just letting go of His hands.

Toddling

See, spiritually speaking, like a little one just learning to toddle, I can’t walk by myself.  I have to take the steps – He doesn’t do that for me – but I can only remain upright as long as I hold onto His hands to keep me balanced.  When I decide that I am strong enough to do it on my own and let go – or even when I just forget to hold on because I’m not paying close enough attention to my need for Him – I fall.

As author Jerry Bridges points out in the twelfth chapter of The Joy of Fearing God, we are totally dependent on Him for life, for breath, and for everything else.

…He gives to all life, breath, and all things.  (Acts 17:25b)

We are to abide in Him (John 10), because we depend on Him for our very life and substance and sustenance.

He “uphold[s] all things by the word of His power.” (Heb. 1:3)

I struggle to know how to do this.  I know, in my head (or in my heart?), that I need to depend on Him.  But I don’t know what this looks like in practical terms.  This chapter (and the next) of The Joy of Fearing God has been insightful for me in this area.  The primary thing, as I can see it at this point in my growth, is to constantly ask His counsel.  Something Bridges points out clearly is that we often recognize our need for God in the big things, but we forget in the little, day-to-day things of which our lives are primarily built.  So how do we handle the big things?  Job decisions, childbirth, schooling choices?  How can we apply those to the daily grind?  Decisions about whether to work on laundry or dishes are just as relevant to God!

We just read this week, in our Scripture reading as a family, about the great mistake that Joshua and the elders of Israel made in making a covenant with the men of Gibeon because “they did not ask counsel of the LORD.” (Jos. 9:14)  Ouch.  How often do I not ask counsel of the Lord because the “right” course of action just seems obvious?  But, like the Israelites, I find myself in a mess because I am relying on my own strength and human “wisdom.”

Meanwhile, a faithful friend pointed me to this verse:

For a righteous man may fall seven times and rise again.  (Prov. 24:16a)

While another reminded me that WD-40 is called WD-40 because its creators failed on the first 39 attempts!  We just never know when the next attempt might be the one. So I keep getting up, over and over.

In the beautiful words of Rich Mullins, my prayer is this…

If I stand, let me stand on the promise that You will pull me through. And if I can’t, let me fall on the grace that first brought me to You.