Now that the Christmas rush is over, can we talk about planning? I know you probably don’t want to be thinking about next Christmas yet, but many people are wondering how to make Christmas less stressful — and one of the biggest keys to a more peaceful Christmas is good planning. (You don’t necessarily have to do that planning now, but better to think about it before you need to do it than after, right?)

How to Make Christmas Less Stressful? Start Sooner…and Finish Sooner

I have a practice of (mostly) being finished with my Christmas shopping by the time December rolls around. People often think that’s because I’m super-organized, but really it’s just self-preservation. I hate shopping during the crazy Christmas rush, when traffic is bad and the stores are crowded and lines are long. Of course, many of those things can be avoided by shopping online, but the habit is ingrained (and online shopping has its own issues, like concerns about shipping).

But here’s the thing: to get your Christmas shopping done by early December, you don’t necessarily have to do it in less time. You just have to do it sooner. You just have to shift your entire current gift-buying/making schedule in terms of where it’s situated on the calendar. If you currently do all your Christmas shopping over three months, you can still spend a whole three months; it’s just a different three months. Or six months. Or twelve months. Whatever.

The point is, it isn’t harder; it’s just different.

And that’s really the key to making Christmas less stressful.

Why is Christmas So Stressful?

Some Christmastime stressors are out of our control: schedules fill up, difficult extended family relationships come into play, and maybe old hurts resurface (like if you lost a loved on at Christmastime so those events are now connected in your mind and spirit). But much of the stress of Christmastime is our own doing.

What expectations do you have of your Christmas experience? Where did they come from? Are all the things that are stressing you out really necessary, or are you taking on too much, making yourself crazy with “all the things,” when they don’t even need to be done? Or could you — as in the example of gift-buying — do some things differently and create more margin for yourself?

How to Make Christmas Less Stressful: Do Something Different

As one example, how many moms have taken on the burdensome tradition of Elf on the Shelf, obligating themselves to constantly come up with new and creative ideas, implement one every day, and then clean up after the messes the “elf” made? This honestly sounds masochistic to me. If you have a high-demand tradition like this, and it brings you joy, by all means, keep it up! But if it’s just one more obligation, can you scale it back? Replace it with a tradition that’s less labor-intensive on an ongoing basis? And if neither of those is an option, can you plan and prep your ideas over the summer so you aren’t in a time crunch every day?

Do you really have to go to every event you’re invited to? Can you send cards at a different time of year? Can you scale some things back? (e.g. Maybe you’ve been baking five varieties of cookies for neighbors and you’re only going to do three.) Or systematize them? (Maybe you have those cookie recipes pre-selected, make the same ones every year, and already have a breakdown of the ingredients you need to buy, and bulk recipe amounts.)

What can you do before December so it won’t be added to the pile of things you have to do in December? Like buying gifts. Or gift wrap. Can you bake some of those cookies in advance and freeze them? Have everything for the Advent calendar or stockings all ready? Buy, make, and/or prepare the clothing you need for any special events that take place in December?

Not only does doing things earlier ensure you have less piling up to do all at once; it gives you a buffer. This has been especially important to me since my chronic illness has gotten worse, but it’s relevant for everyone. If you plan to have your gifts ready and other Christmas preparations done just in time, then if you get sick, a relative dies, someone breaks a leg, the bathroom leaks and repairs have to be made to the floor below…in short, if life happens, then you’ve run out of time and the stress ramps up.

If you planned to have everything ready by the start of December, and some things are still not quite done because life didn’t go smoothly, you still have several weeks left to tie up those loose ends. That’s not a perfect guarantee; sometimes life still overcomes our planning, but it does greatly increase the odds of having a calm, peaceful Christmas with plenty of margin.

Take Stock

How was this Christmas for you? Was it stressful? If so, were there certain elements that were particularly stressful? Is there something you could do differently next year to mitigate those “traffic jams” in your schedule?

What traditions do you have during this time of year? What do they add to your life? (And by “your,” I mean your whole household, not just you individually, unless you live alone.) What do they cost you (not just in money, but time, mental bandwidth, etc.)? Are all of these traditions a good return on your investment? With this in mind, what should you prioritize, and what should you consider eliminating?

And what are you going to do next year to make those changes happen? Do you need to shift to-do list items to an earlier month on your calendar? Do you need to shift your budget? Are there other people in your life you need to have some conversations with about this?

How can you make Christmas less stressful, with the new information you’ve just gathered?