What is this series?

A post on one of the bulletin boards I belong to reminded me of a question common among Christian women: Just what does submission look like in every day life?  While I certainly don’t claim to have “arrived” in this area, I do believe I have some insights to share, so I will be writing a series of posts on the topic.  I plan to offer some basic guidelines, and then to look at some specific scenarios.

For each one, we will look at one way not to respond, and one way to respond.  As you read these, please keep in mind two things.  First, these may or may not be scenarios you would be likely to actually find yourself in.  Either way, try to use the examples to see how basic principles are fleshed out in every day life.  Second, there may be more than one appropriate way to respond.  By offering a “good” option, I am not suggesting that anyone who responds in any other way is failing to submit!  Again, just try to use it as a learning tool.

Not everything is life-altering!

Situations requiring submission vary significantly in their importance.  (I’m not talking about the importance of the submission, but the importance of the issue at hand.)  If your husband wants to go out to eat, but you want to stay home, that’s a pretty minor issue.  If you think a trip to Disneyworld every year is in order, but your husband thinks all those Orlando vacations are a bit hard on the wallet, that’s fairly significant (because of the amount of money involved), but it’s still not what I would consider a really big issue.

Really big issues are significant theological differences that affect your family’s lifestyle or practice (“I believe we need to baptize our babies, but my husband doesn’t agree.”), or sin issues (“My husband wants me to have an abortion.”).

I’m not going to address this last category here, for three reasons. 
One, most of us are not dealing with issues at this level, most of the time.  Addressing issues in the first two categories will give us more than enough to chew on.
Two, this latter category is a subject of great controversy, even within conservative Christian circles.  That is not a debate I wish to enter in this particular forum.
And three, I am not comfortable confronting that serious an issue in generalities.  There is often so much at stake on each side of the decision that every little detail can make a difference.  If I were counseling a friend in a situation of this nature, one-on-one, there are a lot of questions I would ask to sort out all of the options available to her.  I just believe that these very difficult situations are best left to be dealt with one-on-one and, preferably, in person, by someone who knows the whole story.  In the meantime, if you do not find yourself in these difficult circumstances, please don’t use “what if” scenarios to avoid dealing with your own, real, not-such-a-big-deal decisions! 🙂

What this series is not

One more thing I won’t do with this series: I will not debate the appropriateness of submission.  This is my home on the web.  I will not have my lifestyle choices attacked in my own home, nor will I permit my regular readers to feel attacked.  If you are trolling, you might as well leave now, because your agitating comments will not be approved.  Legitimate questions from those with open minds will be posted (although if they deal with the fundamental question of whether submission is appropriate, I may or may not answer them here).

This is a conservative Christian blog that is, to the best of my knowledge and ability, based on Scripture.  If you don’t believe that way, and don’t desire to listen to a differing viewpoint with an open mind and friendly attitude, please don’t waste your time and mine hanging around just to be obnoxious.  I’m sure you can find something more constructive to do. 🙂

Next time: What is submission?

Part 3: The Little Things
Tip: Questions