One of the most valuable lessons I learned growing up is that not everyone is the same, not everyone does things the same way, and that’s okay.

Being military, we moved a lot – for a while.  My dad got out of the Army when I was ten, but even in that short time, I had learned a lot from exposure to different things.

Church is Church Is.., Oh, Wait

This was always most notable to me in the church. Churches have a tendency to do things “they way they’ve always done it,” for no other reason but that it’s what they’ve always done.  There is no ability to think outside the box, because most of the people in the church have always been there and never seen anything different.  Every time we moved, we visited numerous churches before settling on the one that was the best fit.  Although all of these churches were (at least as best Dad & Mom could tell before showing up) conservative, Bible-believing churches, their methods were all different.

As one tiny example, consider the taking of the offering.  Some churches pass a velvet bag with stick-like wooden handles.  Some pass shiny metal trays.  Some pass baskets.  Some don’t pass anything at all; they have congregants walk to the front – or the back – of the church and drop their offerings into a designated receptacle.  Some take offering somewhere in the middle of the service.  Others leave it ’til the end.  (I suppose someone, somewhere, might do this at the beginning, but that particular variation is one I’ve not encountered.)

The Bible doesn’t specify exactly how we have to gather up the offering, so any of these methods – and probably others I’ve not thought to mention – are perfectly acceptable.  But it would never even occur to most churches to use a different method than they’ve been using all along.  And if you dare suggest such a thing in your church, many of you will encounter surprisingly strong resistance!

Multiply this by all of the other things that build a congregation’s culture: how/when communion is carried out; where/how baptisms occur; what songs are sung when; whether there’s “special music,” how often, and who provides it; how the singing time is led; what instrumentation is or isn’t used; the order of service; whether the congregation sits or stands; etc. and there is a lot of variation out there.  And that’s just at church!

We grew up with thinking that was not boxed-in, because we’d “seen it all.”  (Not literally, of course.  There’s still plenty I have not seen.)  I believe this has been a great benefit to us (and, hopefully, to those around us).

Red, and Yellow, Black, and White…

We also had the benefit of enjoying a spectrum of experiences in terms of integration.  The melatonin mix is different everywhere.  I don’t remember Oklahoma well, in terms of this – because we were raised not to care what color someone’s skin is – but to the best of my recollection, Oklahoma had a mostly-white population, with a notable contingent of Native Americans.  In the military community, there was a higher representation of black individuals.

Where I lived in Central Virginia, you could get a good look at the spectrum of community “mixes” that existed just by attending a few football games!  Petersburg was almost all black.  Colonial Heights was almost all white.  Dinwiddie was about half-and-half.  I don’t recall a “statistically significant” representation of Hispanic/Latino individuals in those communities.

We’re still in Virginia, but now in a different region, and the demographics here are still different.  Most of the population here seems to be white or Hispanic/Latino.

Point being, even here within the United States, every community has its own unique mix.  I’d imagine this affects how people view themselves and each other.  It can be easy to assume that certain difference are – or are not – accepted universally, based on a limited experience with a limited range of communities.

Our experiences extend beyond just general American communities. though.  Besides other parts of the country, my sisters and I have, collectively, been to India, Jamaica, Mexico, and Venezuela.  And more significantly, we have experienced variation within our own family.  We have, or have had, siblings who are black, white, Hispanic/Latino, and Native American.  And some who don’t fit neatly into any of those categories!  We’ve learned that we are all different, but we are all the same.

Different Essence/Different Culture

We’ve also learned that who we are and what we do (‘though sometimes closely linked) are not the same.  Our appearances, for instance, are part of who we are.  It cannot be changed.  I can’t make myself any darker or lighter than I am.  (Well, to a point, I could tan or bleach/dye my hair, but I can’t change my essential appearance.)  These differences are inconsequential.  They’re important for making us unique individuals – uniquely beautiful and uniquely suited to the parts God has for us to play in the lives He’s made for us – but they’re all just varying degrees of the same things.

Some are dark, some are light.  Some are curly, some are straight.  Some are outgoing, some are reserved.  Some are bold, some are cautious.  All of these things just keep us from being a boring, bland canvas of all-grey.

What we do has greater variation.  Our cultures are defined by things like the words we use, the clothing we wear, the music we sing (or play, or listen to), the way we dance, the foods we eat, the specific solutions we’ve found to problems, etc.  In all of these things, we can learn from each other.

I’ve just finished reading a book about Pocahontas.  If the historical information in it is to be trusted, the Pamunkey and other tribes (at least in this part of the country) did not have iron.  The English built houses that were a huge draw on resources.  Had they chosen to view one another as equally-intelligent people who merely hailed from different cultures, they could have benefited from an exchange of knowledge and/or resources.  (And, frankly, the Pamunkey probably had a lot more to offer than did the English, given that their culture was developed specifically to conform to the environment they both found themselves living in.  But the English settlers, as a whole, were too arrogant to acknowledge this.)

Let’s Pop the Bubble

If you’ve never really spent any time outside of a single community or type of experience, consider getting outside your bubble.  If you’re brave enough, try something really outside your comfort zone.  I was accused not long ago of never having been in a situation where everyone else’s skin color was different from my own.  That’s not actually true; I have had that experience.  But if you haven’t, try it.  Let’s see about building a culture where, not only does that not happen as often (because there’s more of a mix) but where when it does, we just simply don’t care.

Let’s get outside of our little bubbles and see how other people do some things differently than we do.  And instead of assuming your way is the better way, approach this with an open mind.  Maybe your way is the better way.  But maybe his is.  Or maybe they’re equally good – or each better-adapted to a specific scenario.

Let’s remember our own heritage, but also learn about and celebrate others’ heritage.  Ask questions.  Answer questions, without offense, from people who genuinely want to know more.  (And for heaven’s sake, people, can we please remember that Africa is a whole continent?!  Scottish and Ukrainian cultures are different.  Why would we assume there’s only a single culture throughout all of Africa’s 11 million+ square miles?)  Try new foods.  Consider *gasp* making a minor adaptation in how your church service works.  Immerse yourself – even for a little while – in a microcosm that is completely different from your own.  (Find a church that speaks a different language and visit there one week.  Attend a heritage celebration/festival for a culture other than your own.  Visit the ________town nearby.  [Think “Chinatown,” “Little Italy” – that sort of thing.])

And think about all the ways that other cultures have added value to your life.  Most of us aren’t Italian, but Italian cuisine is a favorite.  Jazz is a favorite musical genre, uniting generations.  Did you know that the whole reason we have jazz in the first place is the merging of cultures?  Wikipedia summarizes it thus: “Jazz is a genre of American music that originated in the late nineteenth and early twentieth century in the Southern United States as a combination of European harmony and forms with African musical elements such as blue notes, improvisation, polyrhythms, syncopation and the swung note.”

Culture is a beautiful thing, especially when we both recognize/remember where we came from and seek to merge, adapt, and move forward!