This was originally a paper I wrote for a college class a few years ago.  The topic has come up several times in recent conversation, so I thought I’d put it “out there” where others can read and discuss it.  Although I’ve made minor edits to the formatting, I’ve largely left this and its references intact due to the original format of the paper and its having not been designed for the web.

Human Relationship from the Beginning

In the beginning, God said “it is not good that man should be alone” (Gen. 2:18, NKJV). From creation, mankind has been designed to live in community. The Bible speaks of many functions human relationships are meant to fulfill; however, people are becoming increasingly disconnected (APA, 2017).

Western culture has found a way of filling this gap by creating an industry of relationships (Pagis, 2016). When relationship needs are not being met organically, consumers can make them happen by purchasing matchmaking services, counseling, or – most relevant to the current discussion – coaching.

Relationship as Commodity

Coaching is a relatively new industry (Jarosz, 2016; George, 2013). Some even describe it as “in its infancy” (Gooding, 2004, p. 41). As George points out, “paid workers now fulfill the kinds of domestic needs that were once met by close friends or family members” (2013, p. 180). Pagis concurs, stating that “life coaching is one such social service that was outsourced from the family into the market” (2016, p. 1084) and referring to it as a “commodification of a social relation” (p. 1086).

While some may turn to coaching because they lack the organic version of these relationships altogether, others may simply be seeking someone who can meet their needs in a healthier way. Pagis goes on to emphasize the “objectified […] nature of such a social relation” (2016, p. 1087) and the space it allows for “personal authorship” on the part of the client (p. 1099). This ability to objectively “attend to the client’s agenda” rather than imposing one’s own preferences is a key coaching skill according to the International Coach Federation (ICF; n.d.), but a skill most untrained friends and family members lack.

Coaches do not meet all relational needs. Comfort in affliction, for instance, presumes brokenness, and falls within the purview of counseling. Coaching, by its very nature, “meets people at a place of relative stability, health and function and encourages them to ‘move on up’” (McCluskey, 2008, p. 266). Coaches do, however, regularly teach/guide, advise, provide accountability, and/or simply come alongside their clients as a supportive presence.

Teaching

Of all the coaching functions addressed in this paper, teaching is perhaps the most controversial. Many would argue that coaches do not teach, claiming that as coaches they “do not offer advice or knowledge” (Pagis, 2016, p. 1087). This hinges, however, on the type of coaching and the way “teaching” is defined. Dictionary.com actually provides “coach” as a synonym for teach (teach, n.d.)!

In the Bible, teaching is often an authoritative role (1 Tim. 2:12). There is, however, an implication that believers can use their various strengths to build one another up. First Corinthians 14:31 describes a scenario where all members of the body can both prophesy and learn, each on equal footing with the others. First Peter instructs believers to minister to one another according to the gifts respectively given to them (1 Pe. 4:10). These references are obviously speaking of spiritual knowledge and spiritual gifts, but the principle is clear that having particular strength or knowledge to offer another does not inherently set one “above” that other person; it can be a simple peer-to-peer sharing.

This represents well what happens in coaching. Steed aptly states that “a coach does some teaching but is not a teacher” (2015, p. 12). Coaches impart to clients particular methods and skills for accomplishing goals. In certain niche coaching, such as health coaching, clients may also need to be provided with specific information they lack. Katsikis, Kostogiannis, and Dryden have even expressly stated that “the coach makes his/her expertise clear from the outset” (2016, p. 6).

However, in the same sentence, the authors are careful to describe the relationship between the coach and the client as “collaborative.” This context is the important key that defines coaching and separates it from other relationships that involve teaching. “A client/coaching relationship is contingent upon an egalitarian partnership. There is no precedent in the client/coach partnership for the ‘expert-in-a-hierarchical-position’” (Gooding, 2004 p. 41).

Advising

This principle must also be kept in mind when advising a client. The Bible places a high priority on wise counsel. “A man of understanding will attain wise counsel” (Pr. 1:5). Indeed, the reader is specifically told that “plans are established by counsel” (Pr. 20:18). The very purpose of coaching is to help a client “shape new vision and plans, and to generate desired results” (Jarosz, 2016) – or, in other words, to set and achieve goals. Counsel, then, which is synonymous with advice (counsel, n.d.), is integral to coaching.

Providing Accountability

Not only do believers teach one another and provide counsel, they also help keep each other accountable. The word accountability is not used in Scripture, but the basic concept is present. It is there in the negative – being a sounding board for confessions (Ja. 5:16) and turning one another from sin (Ja. 5:20) – and in the positive, as well.

The biblical injunction to “consider one another in order to stir up love and good works” (Heb. 10:24) may, in fact, encapsulate the heart of Christian counseling. According to Barna, “fewer than one out of every six churched believers has a relationship with another believer through which spiritual accountability is provided” (2005, p. 34). This highlights the need for, and benefit of, having Christian coaches to fill this vital role.

Providing accountability is a widely-accepted responsibility of life coaches. McCluskey refers to the Christian life coach as “an accountability partner” (2008, p. 268). Collins uses this same phrase (2009, p. 123) He even quotes Whitworth, Kimsey-House, Kimsey-House, and Sandahl that “without accountability, coaching has not happened” (Collins, 2009, p. 123). Indeed, “managing progress and accountability” is one of the International Coach Federation’s core competencies (ICF, n.d.).

Coming Alongside

Finally, believers also simply come alongside each other, as evidenced by the plethora of “one another” passages in Scripture. Christians are “one body in Christ, and individually members of one another” (Rom. 12:5). They are to “receive one another” (Rom. 15:7), “give preference to one another” (Rom. 12:10), “bear one another’s burdens” (Gal. 6:2), “serve” (Gal. 5:23), “bear with” (Eph. 4:2), “be kind to” (Eph. 4:32), “submit to” (Eph. 5:21), “teach and admonish” (Col. 3:16; Rom. 15:14), “love” (1 Th. 4:9; 1 Pe. 1:22; 1 John 3:11), “comfort” (1 Th. 4:18; 5:11), “edify” (1 Th. 5:11), “exhort” (Heb. 3:13), “consider” (Heb. 10:24), “have compassion for” (1 Pe. 3:8), and “be hospitable to” (1 Pe. 4:9) one another. Underlying all these instructions is the fact that “we have fellowship with one another” (1 Jn. 1:7).

Likewise, “coaches walk alongside people to help them determine what God has called them to” (McCluskey, 2008, p. 266). Pagis points out that in coaching and similar professions the product is “the social relation itself,” involving the “marketization of friendship,” among other things (2016, p. 1086). Thus a coach is, in essence, a paid-for friend. Like any good friend, a Christian coach “supports people taking consistent and daily action to follow and be accountable to the life to which God has called them” (McCluskey, 2008, p. 267).

References

• American Psychological Association, Convention Press Office. (2017, August 5). So lonely I could die [Press release].
• Barna, G. (2012). Revolution. Wheaton, Ill: Tyndale House.
• Collins, G. R. (2009). Christian coaching: Helping others turn potential into reality (2nd ed.). Colorado Springs, CO: NavPress
• counsel. (n.d.). Dictionary.com Unabridged. Retrieved April 28, 2018.
• George, M. (2013). Seeking legitimacy: The professionalization of life coaching. Sociological Inquiry, 83(2), 179-208. doi:10.1111/soin.12003
• Gooding, A. D. (2004). Basic requirements for developing and managing a coaching business (part 3). Annals of the American Psychotherapy Association, Summer 2004, 41.
• International Coach Federation. (n.d.). ICF core competencies rating levels [PDF]. International Coach Federation. Retrieved April 28, 2018.
• Jarosz, J. (2016). What is life coaching? An integrative review of the evidence-based literature. International Journal of Evidence Based Coaching and Mentoring, 14(1).
• Katsikis, D., Kostogiannis, C., & Dryden, W. (2016). A rational-emotive behavior approach in life coaching. Journal of Evidence-Based Psychotherapies, 16(1), 3-18.
• McCluskey, C. (2008). A Christian therapist-turned-coach discusses his journey and the field of life coaching. Journal of Psychology and Christianity, 27(3), 266-269.
• Pagis, M. (2016). Fashioning futures: Life coaching and the self-made identity paradox. Sociological Forum, 31(4), 1083-1103. doi:10.1111/socf.12297
• Steed, R. (2015). Coaching: An essential ingredient. Pointers, 25(1), 11-13.
• teach. (n.d.). Dictionary.com Unabridged. Retrieved April 28, 2018.