Am I the only one who struggles to know how to best make use of my strengths, in a homemaking environment, when my strengths are not remotely domestic? (I have one of those goal-oriented, CEO-type personalities and not an inherently nurturing or domestic bone in my body.) I am absolutely convinced that this job is what God would have me to do – but I’m also sure that my doing this job shouldn’t look exactly like Suzie Homemaker’s doing of the job. Do you know what I mean? I feel like it should have my own “spin” on it – that each individual home should reflect the individuality of its homemaker. But I am generally at a loss as to how to do that.
You know those tests they sometimes give in high school or college – aptitude tests that are supposed to tell you which careers you should be good at? I wish that someone would put together something like this, with ideas for how to best utilize our strengths within the home/family, or even in non-leadership roles within the Church. (Even spiritual gift inventories don’t generally do this; they tend to assume that, for instance, if your gift is teaching, you should be teaching the primary mixed Sunday School class. There is rarely any “outside the box” thinking.) I would write such a thing, except – well, if I had the necessary knowledge to write it, I wouldn’t be thinking of it because I wouldn’t need it!
So what’s my point? I’m not exactly sure. I think maybe just to get some discussion going on the topic – to start a virtual brainstorm session. How ’bout it? Any takers?
Hi Rachel. I always love reading your blog! I think we’re about the same age, I just turned 30 a month ago, if I remember one of your posts. Anyway, you are right on about learning to utilize strengths properly. It’s hard isn’t it? I think my problem is I always want to excel at everything and I’m learning that that’s not possible. I guess the cool thing though is hoping your husband has the strengths you don’t! For example, I’m always the one who keeps us on time and he’s the one that makes sure we relax and take things easy sometimes.
I think most strengths can be used though in a variety of contexts. For example, I have a 3 month old but still have to work 2 days outside of the home (we’re working on me be a SAHM by baby #2 but I’m stuck working for now due to really bad financial decisions when we were younger….) and I see that in action all the time. I do counseling and there are other counselors who are AWESOME to talk to, shoot ideas around with and very knowledgeable. But, their paperwork is always late. Then, I know another gal who’s the exact opposite. She’s kind of a stick in the mud but always has timely, organized paperwork. I think just learning to maximize those skills that we’re good at is important. The gal with good paperwork tends to write more reports and such than others of us in the office. I’m sure you’re already using your strengths in many ways!
Maybe you could begin by keeping a log or journal of the activities and routines you already do. It could be like the kind of food journals that people keep in the first stages of changing their diets. That way you can get a bird’s eye view of the life you are already in the process of creating.
Because you have that administrative bent, take this on like a research project. Create a form.
Name of activity:
Time required:
Necessary (n) or optional (o):
Priority (1 to 5):
Level of enjoyment (1 to 10):
Mood (-5 to +5):
Growth value: nurture my strengths (ns/+2), challenge my growth-edge (cg/+1), maintain status quo (sq/0), or invite back-sliding (ib/-2)
Relational orientation: self (s), others (o), mutual (m)
Ministry orientation: home (h), church (c), world (w)
Notes:
Use whatever categories or scoring system is meaningful for you.
If you are really feeling adventurous, you could create an Excel spreadsheet and run a statistical analysis (download EZ-R Stats shareware http://www.statistics.com/resources/software/commercial/e/Ezrstat.php).
Blog about your daily or weekly results.
Oh, my. A statistical analysis? I think that might be a little too administrative for me! lol
But I like your idea. (It sounds like a lot of work went into that comment; that’s pretty fleshed-out!) I am going to have to give it some thought, to see what would be the best way for me to set it up.
That “growth value” field seems especially helpful. We obviously all have to do things that don’t particularly make use of our strengths – some things just have to be done, to be done. But if that’s all we ever do, we get burned out. So I guess there’s a certain minimum balance we’re aiming for.
I love how you make me think!
You could also do this very simply with a basic daily examen.
Pray and journal on these two questions each night:
1) What was life-giving about today?
2) What was life-burdening about today?
Over time you can review your patterns and preferences. It’s a slower, but probably more organic way to approach the question, and invites God to be intimately involved in the discovery process.
I so appreciate this post! I am right with you on this. My nurturing/domestic characteristics are pretty sparse compared to my ability to manage multiple typing/filing/office projects… Typing doesn’t get my laundry done. Filing doesn’t wash my dishes. I’m great in an office setting, but really feel like a total failure in the home. Putting my personality into it is a real struggle for me, too. Now that I’m typing this – I think of the fact that I’ve always wanted a Bed & Breakfast (the managerial, hospitable feel of it all) and maybe that’s how I should approach my family – as though they are guests at my B&B? Interesting concept…