As is the case with most health- or parenting-related books, I have some caveats with this one (The Happiest Baby Guide to Great Sleep, by Dr. Harvey Karp).  Let’s start with those, so we can move on to the good stuff. 🙂

Things that aren’t my favorite about the book:

1. The author discourages bed-sharing.  In his defense, he’s matter-of-fact and not overly reactionary about it (and he does recommend keeping tiny ones nearby; just not in the same bed).  He even suggests ways to make it safer if you do it, which are very good information.  But assuming these reasonable guidelines (don’t share a bed with baby if you’re drugged or overly tired, don’t use a waterbed or air mattress, etc.) are followed, I don’t consider bed-sharing to be inherently dangerous.

2. The author really pushes back-sleeping.  This is understandable, as he’s an MD, and the current recommendation is to put babies to sleep on their backs.  (In fact, one major reason he’s opposed to bed-sharing with young babies is that they have a tendency to roll onto their bellies.)  If you are more comfortable with the current guidelines, by all means, follow them!  Personally, though, I don’t believe SIDS is inherently related to tummy-sleeping; I believe it’s more likely related to the quality of the materials our babies are sleeping on and the fact that we’re off-gassing chemicals into their faces.  Physiologically, back-sleeping is abnormal for an infant, whose back is intended to be curved, not completely straight.  (Just the fact that babies’ heads being flattened has suddenly become an issue since the back-to-sleep campaign should tell us something.)

So I choose to reduce risks in other ways, like using all-natural, sufficiently firm mattresses, breastfeeding, etc., and compromise by putting my babies on their sides most of the time.  (Honestly, I also wonder how much drugs during childbirth play a part.  Every one of my babies has been able to lift her head off of my chest from day 1.  I assume, based on comparisons with friends’ infants, that it is the lack of drugs in their systems that makes the biggest difference – ’cause I’m certainly not giving them exercises to do!  So maybe undrugged babies are better able to move their heads if there are breathing difficulties?)

3. The author recommends making sure “your baby has received all her routine immunizations” as one way to make bed-sharing safer.  Now, I’m all for parental choice when it comes to vaccines, but this correlation makes no sense.  Some preliminary studies have suggested that immunizations are a cause of SIDS.  Even if they aren’t, they are at best just simply unrelated.  There is no evidence whatsoever (that I’m aware of – feel free to correct me with links) to suggest that being vaccinated will keep your baby safer in her sleep.  That really makes this just sound like politics.

Those three are the biggies.  Anything else is nitpicking.  For instance, he says that “the baby should adapt to the family, not the other way around” is a myth, and calls it “sooooo wrong.”  Well, I tend to believe it’s some of both, so “sooooo wrong” is kind of overkill, to my mind.  But his general point is still well-taken – the baby is a baby, and it’s going to take time for him to adapt to a more grown-up schedule.  So my issue here is mostly semantics.  Most other concerns I have with the book are of this minor nature.

Things I really like about the book:

Most of it.  🙂  Seriously, I’ve just been very specific about the few concerns I have, but the bulk of the book is excellent.  A couple specifics I appreciated:

1. It’s pretty well-balanced.  Even when the author does not agree with a particular practice (like bed-sharing), his position is presented in a very calm, rational, non-confrontational manner, and I never got the impression that he was trying to “fear-monger” me into doing things his way.  (I have seen that attitude from other sources.)

He also does a good job of balancing the concept of loving, respecting, and nurturing our little ones with the concept of being “in charge” as Mom and Dad.  It is not permissive, nor is it controlling.  Rather, it’s lovingly instructive.

2. The author addresses ten sleep myths.  Apart from my semantic quibble with the one I mentioned above, these are excellent!  As a whole, they take into considering the need for babies to be nurtured, as well as providing reassurance to parents that there is hope that they will actually get to sleep again. 🙂

3. The author insists that large stretches of sleep at night are possible very early on (and gives specific techniques for making these as long as possible), but does not suggest that small babies should be sleeping for 8 hours.  (I would hope that would be obvious, but I’ve seen some crazy stuff before!)

4. He calls rice a “silly first food.”  🙂  This is almost in passing, but I like him just for this!

5. It covers the entire spectrum from birth to age five.

More about the book:

The text is broken up into sections of several chapters each.  Ages newborn to three months, four months to a year, and one to five years are each handled separately.  Each section has a chapter that lays the foundation – addressing myths, introducing general principles or information, etc.  This is followed by a chapter about getting your little one to sleep, and then a chapter about keeping your little one asleep.

After all of these sections are complete, there are a few “extra” chapters about naps and special situations, respectively.

Throughout the book, the text is very specific.  Step-by-step instructions are given for each method.  A variety of techniques are presented, because every baby (and every family!) is different, but the reader is never at a loss regarding how to do what she’s being instructed to do.

If you’ve tried all the self-soothing methods and your older baby is still not sleeping, three different methods/tiers of “crying it out” are offered.  They are presented as one tiny piece of the whole book, and as a “last resort,” but I find it balancing that they are included and tips are provided for doing this as gently as possible.  (It is my personal belief that babies need to be taught to fall asleep, but that the occasional strong-willed child will just choose to not settle down and, in this instance, he needs to not be coddled.  This is where “crying it out” can be useful, and I appreciate the help to know how to do it more gently, as opposed to just ignoring my child all night.)

A number of the toddler tips look to me as though they may be useful even for non-sleep-related interactions with my kindergartener.  I’m not nurturing by nature, so I can use all the help I can get – and these suggestions don’t sound like brain-melting psychobabble like some of the gentle parenting suggestions I’ve read elsewhere.  (That is, they’re gentle, but they feel like “common sense” gentle, not “I forgot I had a brain or a backbone” gentle.)

All in all, I am very impressed and, although I haven’t had a lot of opportunity to apply this information yet, I think it will be very useful.  (I’m particularly interested in digging into the section about reteaching little ones who have “regressed” in their sleep habits, after Livia’s recent illnesses seem to have trained her to wake up several times a night.)

Bottom line:

Although I don’t agree with every single sentence or paragraph in the book (I rarely do – especially when it’s mainstream doctors doing the writing), I think this is an exceptionally sound and useful book, overall.  I’m glad to have had the opportunity to add it to our home library, and am likely to seek out the author’s previous titles.

Disclosure: I was provided with my copy of the book at no cost to facilitate my review.  By posting a review, I am also eligible to win a small prize.  However, all opinions expressed here are, as always, entirely my own.