Note before we get started: This is, 99.9% of the time, a family-friendly blog.  This post will not be trashy or crude, either.  However, given the subject matter, it is not appropriate for young children, so if you have little readers peeking over your shoulder, you might want to save this one.

Valentine’s Day is on the way, which has the world’s eyes on romance.  I hope you don’t limit romance to Valentine’s Day, but it does provide a good opportunity to tackle the topic.  So let’s talk a little bit about how to keep it clean — in terms of toxins.

Setting the Mood

You might be tempted to use candles, air fresheners, or the like to help set the mood, but pay attention to what you’re using.  Traditional paraffin candles aren’t especially healthy to breathe around (they’re not dissimilar to deisel exhaust, being petroleum-based), so if you use candles, stick with soy or beeswax.  (There are a couple other “safe” candle materials, but most healthy candles are beeswax or soy.)  Check that they’re scented with natural scents.

Or you can use essential oils to set the mood, if you want the scent without the flame.  Ylang ylang is a good choice, as it has traditionally been considered an aphrodisiac, but use whatever scents you prefer to create a sensuous environment.  What you both like is most important.

(Do be careful not to choose anything that’s contraindicated by any health conditions you may have.  Inducing a seizure or asthma attack is not sexy!)

Bluecorn Beeswax Aromatherapy Heavy Glass Votive (Sensuality, 1)Plant Therapy Essential Oil | Sensual Synergy BlendBluecorn Beeswax 100% Pure Beeswax Aromatherapy Votives (4-Pack, Sensuality)

Keeping it Comfortable

A little dry can mean a lot uncomfortable, and since plenty of normal circumstances like monthly cycles and breastfeeding can interfere with natural lubrication, sometimes a bit of extra help can be…well, helpful.  But many of the most common lubes are full of manmade chemicals you may not want in your most sensitive areas, so look for something healthier.

Many people swear by plain old coconut oil.  It has some definite advantages.  You can’t get much safer (unless, of course, you’re allergic to coconut), since coconut oil is literally food.  And you might even already have it around the house.  If this works for you, it’s a great option.  I personally find coconut oil too thin/not viscous enough to be beneficial for this purpose.  And be aware that it’s not safe for use with latex condoms.  (It can make them break down.)

Sylk is a popular brand of personal lubricant that seems to be both affordable and quite “clean.” I haven’t used it or felt it, so I don’t have any personal opinions of it, but this water-based lubricant is condom-safe, if that’s an important factor for you.

Aloe Cadabra is, as the name might suggest, primarily aloe-based.  I find the consistency of this to be good.  And — because, let’s face it, sex can be messy and things can end up places you didn’t expect — it doesn’t taste bad.  (Accidentally tasting a really bitter one is kind of a mood-killer.)  It is compatible with natural latex and polyisoprene condoms, but not with polyurethane.

Island Fresh Superior Organic Virgin Coconut Oil, 54 OunceSYLK Personal Lubricant and Moisturizer, Water BasedAloe Cadabra Natural Personal Lube, Organic, Unscented

Natural fibers for bedding are ideal, too.  Chances are your regular sheets are natural cotton. But if you decide to splurge and get silk sheets for a special night, be aware that a lot of “silk” (or “silky”) sheets aren’t actually silk; they’re polyester satin.  They might be uncomfortably sticky when sweaty.  Bamboo is a good in-between option if you want something “silkier” than cotton, without the expense of real silk.

Looking Good

You might also be wanting to make yourself look, smell, and feel good for your spouse — and that often relies on personal care products that are full of unnatural chemicals. Look to natural alternatives when you can, for your own health and (in some cases) your partner’s.

Are you bathing and/or shampooing with conventional body washes, shampoos, conditioners, etc. because of their scents? Look for all-natural body washes scented naturally, or use unscented natural soaps and shampoos, and scent them yourself with your favorite essential oil blends or natural fragrance oils.  (Guys, this works for you, too.  You’ll just probably want different scents.)

For shaving, consider shaving soaps, a Norwex* Body Cloth, or shaving oil as alternatives to conventional shaving creams.  Men, if you have a beard, consider an all-natural beard oil or beard balm.

Ladies, let’s talk about cosmetics.  We want to look pretty, right?  But looking pretty is a shallow reason to compromise your health!  Of all the things we use care to check for safe ingredients, makeup ought to top the list.  Did you know that a woman may ingest almost four pounds of lipstick in her lifetime?  Other types of makeup may not be quite so dramatically toxic, since they don’t go on (and, consequently, in) our mouths, but chemicals can get into our bodies through the skin, too.  (That’s the entire foundation for things like nicotine and birth control patches.)  And conventional cosmetics are often full of lead and other heavy metals, parabens and other endocrine disruptors, petroleum products, etc.

Look instead for cosmetics made with ingredients such as mineral pigments, plant pigments, plant oils, beeswax, and other ingredients that are nourishing to — or at least which don’t block nourishment of — the human body.  There are now dozens, if not hundreds or thousands, of options available, and it may take some trial and error to find your personal favorite colors, products, etc.  A few companies I’ve used and liked products from include 100% Pure, Lavera, L’Bri*, Meow Cosmetics, The All Natural Face, Vapour, and Honeybee Gardens.

*my mom’s link